Kai Making Friends

One unexpected consequence of sending Kai to a (public) montessori school is that most of his school friends are 4 and 5 years old. Montessori classes combine 3 years in to one class. Kai's class is 3, 4, and 5 year olds (preK and kindergarten). Elementary 1 is 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grades. Elementary 2 is 4th, 5th, and 6th grades, and then 7th and 8th grades make up the last class. I have no idea if this grouping is more beneficial than traditional grades or not. So far the main consequence for us is that Kai (who I consider a "young" three) is making friends with a bunch of kids who are Jett's age.

He talks about four kids in particular - "his silly guy David" (the only 3 year old he mentions), Sean (4), Charlie (4), and Belicia (5). He wanted his buddy Charlie to come over after school one day, so Charlie's mom and I made it happen. But I knew that if Jett was home Charlie, who is 4, might end up playing with Jett instead of Kai, so I arranged for Jett to go to a friend's house during Kai's play date. Do I have to be this strategic with every play date from now on? Yikes!

Belicia is the classmate that Kai seems to really love. To be honest, I love her too. Those few weeks when Kai resisted walking in to school, Belicia took his hand (or tried to), encouraged him to walk in the door (although he didn't always listen), and played with him on the playground before school. She endeared herself to me the first time she took Kai's hand, weeks ago.



Today Kai's school held a fundraising walk-a-thon during the school day. I was there to help out so I got to see Kai and his friends in action. Oh it was so cute.

Kai's teacher had the kids walk (outside around the school) in pairs. I don't know if she assigned partners or if the kids picked their own, but Kai and Belicia were walking buddies. They walked for 30 minutes and held hands the entire time. At one point another girl joined them, so Kai held her hand for a while. But even during the last block, when I walked with Kai, he kept holding hands with Belicia, even while holding mine. Tonight at dinner when I asked Kai what he was thankful for he said he was thankful that he got to walk with Belicia at school. I think I have another play date to set up.

Time Out Just Got One Minute Longer...

In other words, Kai is three!

That belly, that hair, those eyes, those legs, that squeal, that look. Kai has Three perfected. I mean, just look at him.

He's one big bundle of Little Kid. He doesn't want me to push his tricycle up the curb, but he wants me to carry him up the stairs please, and thank you very much. He doesn't want to go to bed, but three hours later he crawls in to my bed. He doesn't want to take a nap, but he will if I lay down with him. He'll eat blueberries (frozen) and pears and maybe peas. He opens up his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and licks all the good stuff out. He wants to go to school without me. He pushes the kitchen chairs into the kitchen, crawls onto the counter top, opens the cupboard door, pulls out the cereal box and pours himself a bowl without spilling it - while I'm in the shower. Some of these things I could do without.

In the last couple of months Kai's language has exploded and every time he speaks to me I give a silent cheer. He speaks in full sentences, two or three or four in a row and it's thrilling to finally know what he wants and what he thinks and where he wants to go. Usually he wants to go to his friends' houses, his grandparents' houses, McDonald's, or home.

Kai is taking a gymnastics class with Jett. It's his first class without me. I park right outside the building and I let Jett and Kai run in with the other families while I pay the parking meter. When I get in the building, 2 minutes later, they both have their shoes off and stored neatly under a chair and Jett is usually in the process of helping Kai get his coat off. When their instructor opens the door for class Kai runs in after Jett without a glance back at me.

For his birthday he requested dinner at McDonald's with his friend JP.

He still does his fair share of waiting for and watching Jett. He sat in my lap for an hour once a week, watching Jett learn how to swim. Jett sat on the side of the pool and kicked his legs, while Kai sat in my lap and did the same. Jett moved his arms in circles along side his body, and Kai did the same. It was awfully cute. Kai is awfully cute.

He plays with the big kids. When Jett gets out of school and his preschool class runs to the playground, Kai does too. Sometimes the preschoolers make Kai the "monster" and pretend he's chasing them, which he is. Kai loves it. Sometimes he pushes the preschoolers (in play) and sometimes they push him back (gently so far) and he laughs and laughs.

Kai laughs and laughs and laughs. He sneaks a treat and giggles. He runs, screaching, out the door instead of waiting. He pulls his diaper off and collapses with belly laughs. He splashes me from the tub and guffaws.

He likes to snuggle by holding my face in his hands. He still likes to sleep with his arm around my neck. Sometimes he falls asleep after we drop Jett off at preschool and he'll stay asleep when I transfer him up three flight of stairs and in to bed, then 2 hours later he continues to sleep while I transfer him back to the car, into the school, and out on the playground. He'll stay sleeping in my arms, his head on my shoulder. Holding him hurts my back and ruins his bedtime but that kid is heaven in my arms.

His favorite song is "I've Got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas and he walks around the house, sits in the grocery cart, sits in the bath singing, "Tonights gonna be a good, good niiiight."

Dancing at music center in Jett's preschool classroom on Sibling Day.

He likes to spit. He's started biting. He won't stay in time out. He whines and whines and whines. But he's started doing Jett's old puzzles, and he sits by himself and looks at books and builds block towers that he is so proud of. He walked around all week singing "Happy Birthday to Kai-eye-eye." Best of all he treats his brother like his best friend.

Here is Kai on his birthday. Jett is showing him how to open his new Batman water bottle. He's wearing his new Spiderman shirt. Spiderman is his favorite super hero. He requested a "Spiderman Birthday Party". We didn't throw him a party, but nearly every present he got had Spiderman on it. He loved it!

He's full-on three and we love every bit of him. Happy Birthday, Kai. We love you!

Sweet Daze

I caught Kai watching Sesame Street the other day. This is the expression he wears every time Elmo's World comes on. I think he's in love with that little red monster.

Haircut!

I missed the curls even before they were gone, but it only took one 90 degree day to convince me that Kai would be much more comfortable with a "summer" cut.




Still cute!

Instructions on Making an Angel

It has been strongly suggested to me that I add some pictures to this blog. It seems someone is missing the boys' faces. So here I present to you: How to Make a Snow Angel.

Step 1. Stand up.

Step 2. LAY DOWN!

Step 3. Now move your arms and legs back and forth.

Step 4. Come on now! I said "swish, swish"!

Step 5. Nice swishing! Now stand up!

Step 6. Step 7. Woah, not too fast! Your snow angel is getting messed up!

Step 8. Listen: You have to roll out of it. Nice and easy.

Step 9. There you go. Much better.

Step 10. And back to standing. Nice form!

You've come a long way, Kid.

Every now and then...

I think I'm going to enlarge this and wallpaper our condo with it.

There's a Joke in Here Somewhere....

After my unproductive Internet search to figure out how much cow's milk I need to give Kai if I'm still breastfeeding, I did what I should have done in the first place and called a lactation consultant. I won't tell you how many times I breastfeed Kai in one day because you would think I am crazy. I will tell you that apparently I'm feeding him enough to give him approximately 20 ounces during the day. (Geesh, no wonder I'm so thirsty all the time and eating twice as much as Charlie at every meal). Also, the lactation consultant told me that the milk I'm providing is far superior to cow's milk***. So I guess I'll just keep feeding him.

Last time I entered in to the world of extended breastfeeding I obsessed over it on a daily basis: should I stop, should I stop nursing him in public, should I limit him to just before bedtime, should i stop admitting to people that I'm still doing it, etc., etc. People are so opinionated about it. My favorite quote came from a friend of mine, who said that if the baby is old enough to ask for it, then the baby is too old for it. That sounds so clever, but it's not that easy because most parents want to give their baby want they want, and if that's what the baby wants, and it's a healthy option, then, well, what is a mama to do?

This time I think I'm just done obsessing about, done trying to explain it, done analyzing it, done. There are just so many other things to obsess over, like preschool and potty training, and a million other things I could list here, but I won't. It's liberating really to have the mental space available to worry about so many other things.

Wait a minute....


***Don't think I didn't try to rephrase that to try to avoid comparing myself to a cow.

Kai's Birthday Party

We threw Kai a grand birthday party on Saturday. Faced with the prospect of hosting 17 people (that's just family!) in our 1100 square foot condo, Charlie and I got to work. We made a list of "must-haves" and they all fell in to place: the sun came out, Jett and Kai took their naps before hand and played well with their cousins, my sister came and helped me decorate, and the food (all from scratch, thankyouverymuch) tasted good, if I do say so myself. Charlie and I had a lot of fun, Jett loved it, and Kai was a peach. Here is the story of our day, in pictures.

Uncle Nathan, in our neat and tidy condo before the party. Those are the cupcakes on the mantle behind him, big punching balloons hanging from the ceiling, and photos of Kai strung across the windows. The big white rectangle on the wall behind the table is a homemade version of "pin the tail on the donkey" except I can't draw a donkey so this one is called "Build a Boy". It was a surprising hit with the kids. Jett was especially proud of pinning the hands and feet in the right place.

Everyone started to arrive at 4:00, and most of us and all of the kids stayed outside on the sidewalk. We brought out folding chairs for the adults and bubbles for the kids. I almost felt like I had a yard - but I also felt that maybe we should have invited all of our neighbors, since we were taking up the entire sidewalk! This little bus is Jett's favorite toy from his first birthday. At his birthday Jett ran all over the condo pushing the bus in front of him. Kai isn't walking yet, but he is one determined driver.

My sister Heather made this cute cute shirt - it has a big "1" on the front. She also brought bubble guns and a bubble machine because she knows kids, and she knows how to host a party.

We started serving dinner at 5:30. For dinner, Charlie and I made beef and chicken enchiladas with black beans, rice, and watermelon on the side. We sort of ate in shifts, to accommodate the lack of seating. After dinner we opened presents. Jett helped with the unwrapping and he didn't even mind letting Kai think the presents were for him. Here is Kai in my lap, admiring his new sporty sandals from Aunt Jenny.

Kai looked confused when we sang "Happy Birthday" to him, but who can blame him? He had 16 people singing to him! His admirers were me, Charlie, Jett, Aunt Heather, Uncle Rich, Megan, Owen, Uncle Nathan, Grandma, Grandpa, Grammy, Papa, Uncle Will, Aunt Jenny, Uncle Brian, and Ellie. Whew!

Kai also wasn't sure what to do with the candle except touch it (which is why we are holding his hands). But he did know what to do with the cupcake.

Here he is digging in before we could get the paper off the cupcake. I wanted Jett in this photo too, but he refused, and it just wasn't worth the argument. But now I regret not having a true family photo on Kai's birthday. Ah well.

That's a yellow cupcake with chocolate ganache on top. The recipe is from Amy Sedaris, which I found through Zack. I know it doesn't look like Kai likes his cupcake, but he did, he did! He devoured it, and now that I think about it, he may have eaten two. Hmm. Maybe we shouldn't have put the rum in the ganache....

At the end of the night we took Kai's new bubble machine to the school yard across the street and filled up the lawn with bubbles. Kai loved it and so did we.
On his birthday, Kai clapped, waved bye-bye and said "bye-bye" in his sweet little quiet voice. He also blew kisses, and pointed to his nose, ears, and head when we asked him to. He's one!

Here is Kai with his cousins - and another photo without Jett!

By the end of the day we were exhausted, happy, and full - and I can't wait to do it again! Happy Birthday, Kai! We love you!

Kai's Birth

In less than 24 hours Kai will be one year old. 364 days ago I was still waiting for him, 7 days overdue. Here is the story of Kai's birth day. It feels good to think about it. I don't know if it is interesting to anyone other than me and Charlie, but yet I will tell you all about it.

Because of changing childcare for Jett, I started my maternity leave on May 1 last year, even though my due date for Kai (who didn't have a name yet) wasn't until May 13. By May 20th I had burned through nearly three weeks of my maternity leave with no sign of impending labor. Except all of those "practice contractions", the ones with all the pain but nothing to show for it. I was self-conscious and tired, and worst of all my midwife who I loved was going on vacation on May 22nd.

May 21, mid-morning. I have an appointment with my midwife. She asks me if I want her to "get things going" to try to get my body to start labor sometime soon, maybe today perhaps, and I say that would be lovely, so she does, and nothing happens. I wish her a happy vacation and wonder when this baby is going to come out and who is going to catch him when he does.

May 21, noon. My midwife's office is downtown, a few blocks from Charlie's office. I'm working from home a little bit during my maternity leave, so after my appointment Charlie and I walk to Charlie's office and we both start to work. 

2:00. Charlie and I leave for lunch. We ate late so we could watch a soccer game over lunch. We walk over to the Lucky Strike and meet two friends/coworkers of Charlie's.

4:00. I'm getting antsy because I have to get home to relieve our nanny, who is watching Jett and his friend Will (who we shared our nanny with). I try to talk Charlie into leaving early with me, but he is a dedicated worker, so far.

4:30. The game ends, we walk back to Charlie's office, and the weather is beautiful and it's almost quitting time anyway, so I walk to the parking garage to get the car, and Charlie heads to his office to see if he can gather his things and sneak out.

4:45. I get in my car and start to leave the parking garage. Have some pain, and write it off as a practice contraction.

4:47. Charlie calls and is ditching work. I pick him up at the bottom of the parking garage and we head home.

4:55. We are one mile from home. I'm driving, and there is a pigeon in the middle of the road. I almost hit him because he doesn't move and I'm in too much pain to bother swerving. That is when I started to think that maybe something is going on.

5:00. We're home, I park, and we walk upstairs. Hug Jett. Chat with nanny and nanny share family who are there. Chat for a minute, have another practice contraction, go back to the bedroom and lay down. After a few minutes I come out of the bedroom as everyone is leaving and say goodbye like there is nothing going on, even though there is definitely something going on.

Front door shuts. I turn to Charlie and tell him to take Jett for a walk and pack him a bag in case he needs to drop him off at Jenny's (his sister who lives two blocks away).

5:05. Charlie and Jett walk out the door. I look at my watch and realize I've had contractions every four minutes for 20 minutes, and they keep getting stronger. Charlie and Jett are not yet at the bottom of the stairs, but I call Charlie and tell him to take Jett to Jenny's. 

5:15. I call Charlie who is not home yet and ask him to call my midwife, Sara, and tell her we are coming in. He suggests that I get in the bath because he knows that we don't want to get to the hospital too early, but I know that would be too much effort at that point. 

5:30. Charlie gets home. Contractions are now three minutes apart. He has not called Sara because he didn't want to jump the gun. I call Sara. She tells me that I probably have time to wait, why don't I get in the bath. I wonder where they both got their cliff notes to Labor and Delivery Part 1. I tell Sara that this is pretty painful and I'm coming in. She says, sure, I can come in to the hospital, that way I can relax knowing that I'm there and have everything I need. She says I will get there before her. I think relaxing is out of the question.

5:50. Charlie and I get in the car. We take Chicago Avenue east. There is a lot of traffic. And potholes. I can't decide if I want the seat reclined or upright, so I go back and forth, up and down. I can't decide if I want the window up or down, the fans on or off, the vents open or shut. I start counting the length of the contraction. When I get to about 24 the contraction starts going away. I am pleased with myself and start bragging to Charlie about my counting, but the contractions are coming almost every two minutes now, so I have to start counting again. I tell him that if I can just remember to think about just one contraction at a time I might be able to get through this. 

6:15. We are sitting on the corner of Chicago and Michigan Avenue and a bus just cut us off. There are crowds of people on the corner, waiting for the light to turn. I am inches away from dozens of people and I am breathing and counting and breathing and counting and trying not to look like a woman in labor in front of all of these people standing on the sidewalk just outside my now closed window. 

6:18. We are sitting on the corner of Chicago and Michigan and another car just cut us off. We sit through the second light. Pedestrians keep walking by my window and I want to disappear.

6:20. We are sitting on the corner of Chicago and Michigan and a cabbie just cut us off. We sit through the third light and I am breathing and counting and breathing and counting and Charlie is yelling at the cab driver now and I am breathing and counting and not looking at all of the pedestrians who are standing next to my window trying to cross the street that is blocked by the car with the pregnant woman who is about to have a baby in it maybe.

6:22. We finally turn on to Michigan Avenue, go one block, and stop at the red light. Are you kidding me?

6:24. We turn left. We make more turns. We pull into the valet area and Charlie gets me a wheel chair ohmygod I can not walk. I get in the wheel chair and we fumble with bags and shoes.

6:30. We enter the hospital and get directed to the door for pregnant ladies.

6:33. Charlie wheels me to the reception desk and the receptionist asks how can she help us and then she says, oh well obviously you are going to have a baby and I sign something that signifies that yes, that is true, and we make it through the double doors.

6:35. The nurse hands me a gown, tells me to put it on, and pee in a cup and I don't know how I'm going to do all that when I could barely get myself in a wheel chair a few minutes ago, but I am concerned about being a model patient. Suddenly I want to be the best patient they've ever had. I want to be their favorite patient. So I smile and say ok. Charlie comes with me in to the bathroom because while all of that sounds like very private business it is impossible to do alone when you are so busy counting and breathing and looking for something to hold on to. I don't, however, make him hold the cup, although I can't see past my belly, so whether any pee gets in the cup is anyone's guess. 

6:45. I'm in the bed in the "triage" area - I don't know what they call the place where the check you out before sending you to labor and delivery. The nurse is talking to my midwife Sara, and she tells Sara that I'm breathing through the contractions and haven't asked for pain medication yet. She doesn't tell her that I'm her favorite patient, which disappoints me, because I'm really being a trooper doing all this counting and peeing in the cup, and being polite and smiling.

6:55. They are ready to send me to labor and delivery and they want to know if I want to go up in a wheel chair or stay in the bed. I think about the wheel chair, because I'm sure that is what all of their favorite patients choose, but the thought of moving any more than necessary is terrifying, so I opt for the bed. They wheel me toward the elevators and somehow Charlie remembers to grab all of our stuff.

7:00. I'm in the labor and delivery room and don't notice the flat screen tv or the guest bed or any other amenity they talked about during the tour I took months ago. I just notice that the blinds are open, and there is an office building across the street, and I think it shouldn't be up to the patients to request privacy blinds, it should just be a given, since I'm practically naked by now and there's nothing I can do about it. But another contraction starts and I forget about the blinds and start counting to 24 again.

The nurses are at the end of their shift, but one has to stay late now that I am here and I feel guilty. There are lots of nurses and the ones leaving introduce themselves to me and then the ones arriving introduce themselves to me and I don't remember any of their names even though I try to.

Charlie is doing something with the bags on the other side of the room and another contraction is starting and he has been holding my hand through every one, but now he's on the other side of the room and I need to hold someone's hand so I say I need to hold someone's hand and the nurse who has to stay late holds my hand and for a minute I honestly think that she is my new best friend.

I had requested a tub to labor in, but it takes a while to bring it in to the room and then set it up, so I stay in the bed.

7:30. My midwife arrives. She reminds me that I don't have to lay on my back during labor, I can get up and walk around, why don't I sit up right now, here let me help you. 

I have to say, all of the natural childbirth stuff that I read and heard and listened to all advocated moving around during labor, but I was never in more pain than when Sara pulled me up to a sitting position. Then she had me stand up and walk over to the shower (since the tub wasn't ready yet). The idea is to rest against the chair that is in the shower, and let the hot water run down your back or belly or wherever the pain is. I had practiced this position in my childbirth class, but when I got to the shower and kneeled down, I couldn't remember where my arms were supposed to go. Do I lay them on the chair, or do I lay my head on the chair? Do I sit on the chair? I kind of rested my arms on it, but not the way I was supposed to. My gown fell off and got soaked and I don't know how no one else got soaked, because it seemed like a pond in there to me, but I wasn't totally aware of my surroundings. Sara or was it Charlie aimed the water at my back and tried to help me get in a more comfortable position and then I said I had to push and Sara said go ahead, so I pushed and my water broke.

Sara encouraged me to stand up but instead I kneeled on the floor of the shower and with my most polite moan reminded her that she said it was never too late for an epidural. She told me I was going to have the baby and again, I had to remind her that it's never too late for an epidural. She said, Amy, you are going to have the baby Right Now. Charlie said, Amy, you are going to have the baby Right Now. And I got up and they helped me walk back to the bed while I reminded them, yet again, that it is never too late for an epidural. 

It was too late for an epidural.

I got on the bed and sat up and I heard Sara ask the nurse to page the doctor. She asked three times, but the nurse said the doctor was delivering a baby at that moment. I wondered why she needed the doctor but I didn't ask because I was counting and breathing and concentrating. I pushed and the nurse asked me if I wanted to reach down and feel the baby's head - already! I didn't want to miss that opportunity, but I was concentrating on the pushing and the counting and I was afraid that if I got distracted I would lose my mind. The nurse asked again and I said no again and I was afraid that she would think that I didn't want to touch my baby's head or that I wouldn't be inspired by the feel of his hair and I wanted to explain that I just couldn't be distracted, but I didn't. Instead I pushed again and he was born.

7:43. He was naked and warm and beautiful on my chest and he had all of this curly black hair and his cheeks were enormous and his whole body was red and his eyes were squinty and his hair was so soft and he was there on my chest on my chest at my cheek in my arms needing me needing me needing me so I talked to him and stroked his cheek and his head and his hair and his arms and I held his hands and looked in to his eyes and said we did it, Kai. We did it. You're here.

Swoon

Kai,

You are almost one year old and when you lay your head on my shoulder your hair is still warm against my cheek. When I lay you in your crib your little fingers grip my shirt and your little legs wrap themselves around my waist and you bury your head into my neck and fall asleep right there in my arms. If I had legs of steel and a stronger back and no need to sleep I would stand there all night, holding you in my arms, breathing your sweet milky breath and resting my cheek on your sweaty little head.

Tonight I stood there knowing that I had to lay you down and wondering why we don't just pull you in to our bed with us any more and dreading the pleading cry that would surely come as soon as I lifted your head from my shoulder, and I stood for minutes, hours, days, swaying back and forth next to your crib, as if you were a newborn and you had never been out of my arms. When I laid you down, on your back this time because I couldn't pry you far enough away from me to turn you around so you could lay on your belly like you prefer, you looked up at me, turned your head to the side, closed your eyes and fell back asleep. Your little arms straight out to the side, spanning the crib, and your legs, bent up like little frog legs. I wanted to stay, but I tip-toed out.

Earlier today we sat on the couch together. Actually, you were standing, leaning into the back of the couch and looking out the window. You reached over and grabbed a magazine, ripped a corner off of a page, and put it in your mouth. I was afraid to reach in your mouth to grab it, for fear of pushing it back farther. So you know what I did? I ripped off a piece of the magazine and put it in my mouth, to see how quickly it softened up, so I would know what sort of choking hazard we were dealing with.

Today Jett taught you how to take a bite of a banana. We were having a picnic at the zoo and I had brought along a banana for you, although you've never eaten one that wasn't mashed. I kept putting it to your lips and you kept smiling and smiling and slobbering all over it. I know you know how to bite shoulders, so I just assumed you'd know how to bite bananas, silly me. I brought Jett over to you to demonstrate. Oh, he is so cute and funny. He took his tutoring role quite seriously and did it all in slow motion while you watched. Then I put the banana up to your mouth and presto! You took a bite. Just like Jett. You and I clapped and clapped for Jett and then Jett and I clapped and clapped for you and I can not deny that we were all quite proud of ourselves for that little banana-biting accomplishment.

You are almost one year old, Kai, and you are not quite pulling up on furniture and you are not quite finished with pureed food and you are not quite sleeping through the night lately, but when I hold you you curl up in my arms like a little peanut in it's shell and you cover my cheeks with big open mouth kisses and you clap your hands like the whole world is a complete delight, and you know, sometimes it is.

One Big Ball of Crazy

I'm supposed to be packing for our weekend to Michigan, but I'm too busy obsessing over tonight's bedtime routine. 

I had the boys by myself tonight, and got Kai to bed, easy as pie. After Kai fell asleep Jett and I sat on the couch and watched Curious George. The plan was to watch one half hour show and then read books and go to bed, but when the time came for books Jett resisted. I gave in and we watched another half hour of Curious George, interrupted many times by me, reminding him that when the show was over I was not going to read him books, I was not going to tell him stories, I was not going to rub his back. He was going to go in to his room by himself and fall asleep. Right, Jett?

Of course when the time came to go in to his room he resisted that too. Charlie would have relented. He would have put on his super-hero belt, read books, told stories, and rubbed his back, and emerged bleary-eyed, an hour later, wondering where the night had gone. I had no time for that tonight, because I had to pack and do laundry and eat dinner and finish a book. So, I gave Jett a few minutes to inch closer to the bedroom, which meant crawl slowly as a snail from the couch to the chair and then climb up on to the chair to rest from all of the effort of getting there. I used my stern voice and reminded him of our agreement and you won't believe it, but that did the trick. He smiled at me, accepted the sippy cup of water that I offered him, gave me a hug and a kiss, walked into his room, shut the door, and presumably got in bed.

I was relieved for a minute. Then I realized that I had just made my two-year-old  put himself to bed, and wasn't he a little young for that? I don't even have the nightlight plugged in and it's pretty dark in there (which might explain the small crash I heard after he shut the bedroom door). Do I go in to check on him? Will that make him want to get up? Should I plug in the night light? Will that make him want to get up? I don't even have the monitor on, so I can't even tell if he's singing himself to sleep tonight. Should I check on him? And what about that crash sound anyway?

I chickened out. Instead of checking on him, I thought it would be better to eat two bowls of ice cream, finish reading my book, and then got on the Internet. 

I still haven't checked on him and don't even talk to me about packing.

To move on to something that makes me sound less crazy, today I taught Jett his phone number. If he sings it he can say it.

Also, Kai hasn't signed anything in days, but I think he is saying some words - mama, dada, ball, and all done.  Man, he is cute. Don't I have a picture of him around here somewhere?

Eleven Months

Happy Birthday, Kai! Now you are eleven months old. Eleven months! My baby, a Cheerio-chewing, four-teeth-showing, diaper-changing-resisting, eleven month old. I can hardly believe it.

How have you been spending your days lately? Well, you've been doing a lot of throwing. Ball throwing, that is. You throw the ball and chase after it. Or sometimes you throw the ball and cry until I chase after it - you're learning quick, I tell ya. (Although, Baby, you don't have to cry to get me to play with you. Don't you know I'm always on the way to play with you)? You just love throwing, or rolling, a ball. You could be completely occupied with a toy or a person or anything, but if you catch sight of a ball out of the corner of our eye, it's over. You are after it. You especially love the O-ball. It's so light and easy to hold on to. Sometimes we sit on the floor and play catch now. Those are some of our most peaceful moments, because it's a game we can all play. What I mean is, I can pay attention to you and Jett at the same time, and everyone is happy. Here are all the boys in an early morning game of catch.



Here is a picture of everything you threw on to the fireplace at Grandma and Grandpa's house. You were very serious about getting all of the Easter eggs up there. I loved watching you concentrate.



How else do we spend our day? Well, we spend a large portion of the day simply interacting with Jett. You entertain Jett, and then I rescue you from Jett, and then Jett feeds you Cheerios (under my watchful eye), and then I put you in the exersaucer so Jett can set up his train tracks on the floor without you trying to eat the trains. This morning Jett really exhibited some creative thinking about you, Kai. He pushed all of the boxes we have (toy boxes, foot stools, a big diaper box) around you and your play mat and created a sort of enclosed play space. He fenced you in. When we was finished he said, "There! Now Kai won't bother me!" Daddy and I were totally entertained by this, and we praised Jett for his problem solving and relatively peaceful approach. But I wonder if we should have, because you know, you are no bother, baby Kai. We love you, and I don't for one second mind picking up Jett's trains so you can't eat them. As I always tell Jett, you are a baby! And we love you! And if he doesn't want you to grab his hair, or eat his trains, he needs to move out of the way! Still, here is a picture of you in the enclosure that Jett built.



When we aren't negotiating floor space, we're cramming ourselves in to five square inches on the couch. You are the fun, see, and we all want to be close to the fun.

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What's that? Oh, right. I know, I know. Yes, that also happens on and off throughout the day. But I have to change your diaper - we can't just leave the same diaper on you all day! I know what your screaming and crying and tears mean, believe me, I know! Yes, I know you feel you must roll over with every diaper change just to prove to me how much you hate them and I know I need to get better at securing your diaper when you are laying on your belly, but it's hard when you do all that wiggling and when you are making me want to cry with all of your crying. So much crying on the changing table! I think I dread those diaper changes more than you do. I don't know what to do about that, Kai. Maybe hang Cheerios from the ceiling?

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Ahem. Let's move on to the things you love. What do you love? The alphabet song. Being held. Yogurt. Jett, during dinner. Naps. Clapping. Plastic cups. Jett's sippy cups. Pulling off your bib - and that's a new one!

You know what I love? I love putting you to bed. I'm better at putting my baby to bed this time around, and you are amazing at the bedtime transition. Sometimes I sing to you, I always nurse you. I smooth down your soft hair and hold your hand, and you settle down into one of the best parts of the day. I stand by your crib and sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". You lay your head on my shoulder and that's when I know you are ready to go to sleep. So I lay you in your crib and you roll on to your side and fall asleep. It's always that simple and I'm always amazed. Every night I walk out of your room feeling like the world is perfect.



And so it is. Happy Birthday, Baby Kai. We love you.

Ten Months

Happy Birthday, Kai! Yesterday you turned 10 months old.

Ten Months!

Well, my little heart-breaker, it's been a great month for you. It's the kind of month that let's us see what is coming up next. What I mean is, you suddenly look like you might switch over from the belly slide to a true crawl. You might start eating food that isn't pureed to practically a liquid. You might sleep through the night for a few days in a row. Big stuff!

Let's talk about food. You love food. In fact, you want more of it than I realized. When I took you in for your nine-month check-up, your doctor said we needed to feed you more, and you needed the good stuff - more whole milk yogurt, for example. You'd think after Jett I would know how to pack the calories on a baby (since we had to do that for Jett), but apparently we haven't been feeding you as much as you are willing to eat. When the doctor told me to feed you more solids, I started offering you more, and wow, you can eat three baby food jars at a sitting now. Who knew you were that hungry? The only problem is, now that you've discovered the world of full-fat yogurt, you don't want anything else. Well, there's always something to wring my hands about when it comes to what my babies will eat. I'm inclined to give you as much yogurt as you want, as long as you keep eating it.

Today you ate your first Cheerio. You didn't pick it up and eat it, I put it on a spoon for you. But still, a success! It is the first bit of solid food that you haven't immediately spit out. I have to say, I appreciate the care that you took when chewing your Cheerio. I think you chewed it for about 5 minutes before swallowing it - and that is after I soaked it in water and got it all nice and mushy for you first. I love a careful chewer. No choking for you, baby. Take your time. We have all day.

huh. what am i supposed to do with those?

now let's see...

success!

Baby Kai, you are on the go. You slide yourself along your belly from one end of our condo to the other. It's so cute to watch you do it. You cross one leg over the other, and use your bottom foot to push you forward. You pull with your arms too, reaching one out straight, and using the folded arm to help push. You explore every nook and cranny of our house. You especially love the little empty space between the toy shelves and the couch. You also love to put your face against the granite floor in front of the fireplace. You scoot under chairs and the under the crib, and you can almost always get yourself out. You know how to reach under the couch for a toy, and you keep trying to push the buttons on the t.v. You love playing catch by yourself, throwing the ball and then chasing after it. You are really good at entertaining yourself that way.



But oh Kai, your pink-eye is moving through the family. Now Jett has it, and I just hope he doesn't give it back to you. We put eye drops in your eyes three times a day, and you are such a trooper. You haven't cried about it once, even when we have to hold your eyelids apart to get the drops in. I'm so impressed with your zen-like approach to these eye drops.

I love the evenings as you go to sleep. I especially love those evenings when I can sneak you off into my bedroom and rock you to sleep in there, without any interruptions from you know who. When we have peace and quiet you just snuggle right in and we stare at each others' faces. We rock back and forth until you lay your head down on my shoulder and fall asleep. It's the sweetest thing. Then I walk you through the living room and pray that Jett's squeals and bedtime protests and throwing-of-things-not-meant-to-be-thrown don't startle you awake. We walk in to your room. You stir a little and look around, and then I lay you down and you fall asleep. I walk out of the room always with a little disbelief that it is that easy.

You should know that when you wake up in the night, which is nearly every night or so, Daddy is the one who gets up with you. Sometimes you need a bottle and sometimes you don't. But he tells me that you always fall asleep to an old episode of Seinfeld. That's Daddy for ya.

Well, Kai, you keep doing what you're doing and we'll keep being amazed at every little thing. Happy birthday, Kai. We love you.

One milestone after another

Well Kai, yesterday you learned how to clap. It's so cute. You sit on the floor clapping your hands and smiling. It makes me feel like everything I do, I do to rave reviews. I love it! Then you got up on your hands and knees and rocked back and forth a few times. You did it all day yesterday and all day today, and I think you are getting close to crawling. Very exciting! Then, to top it all off, you woke up this morning with pink eye. Yay!

Quirks and Endearments

Kai, it's time for a little chat.

I have to say, Jett had it coming. His brazen swatting of your cheek, his pulling on your arm, his nose-to-nose attention to the tiniest details of your face. You've been watching him non-stop from day one, and you've picked up a few things. Now, for example, if Jett is in reaching distance of you, which he often is, you squawk at him to get his attention. You sound just like him, it's amazing. You "squawk!" and slap his arm. "Squawwk!" and grab his sleeve. "Squawwwk!" and swipe his neck. So far I've got him convinced that you are trying to play a game with him, so for now he is delighted. I expect his delight to last about two hours after you wake up tomorrow morning. Then he's going to teach you something else, I'm sure.

You squawk at me too! As if I need any reminding to pay attention to you! Tonight I was holding you and you squawked in my face and then you hit me! Was that really necessary? I was holding you! Sure, sure, you did it all with a smile on your face. But like I was told many times growing up, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. So let's go back to the cooing, ok? That's such a sweet way to communicate. Also, I have to trim your fingernails. Ouch!

Would this face ever side swipe a mama?

Food. You like it smooth. I think you could eat baby food forever. Let me rephrase that. You could eat the stage 1s and stage 2s forever. Forget the stage 3s, with their tiny, soft, pasta chunks and their blending of ingredients. Pasta primavera? Forget it! I've started soaking Cheerios in water and putting them out on your highchair tray for you. You mash them up between your fingers and smear them on your thighs, but you haven't brought one to your mouth yet. When I cut one in to quarters or halves and put a piece in your mouth, you spit it right back out at me. I guess this is ok. I don't think there's anything wrong with sticking with purees for a while longer. I just wish you wouldn't look so hungry every time I bring a cookie to my lips. Playgroup is a killer for you, with all those toddlers and their snacks after snacks after snacks. You find a kid eating goldfish crackers and look at him with your big, blue, round, pleading eyes; I feel terrible not having a snack for you. But you and I both know you wouldn't even bring it up to your mouth, so could you please stop those pleading eyes until you are actually ready to eat one?

Oh yes, I know what you want. Don't think I didn't notice that I was the only mom at the bowling party who had to get out her breastfeeding cover - twice. We were only there two hours. It 's nice and all. The bonding, the comforting, the sleeping baby. Really, I like it. I like being able to sit down and snuggle with you. Your sweaty head on my arm, your sweet baby smell all around. I'm just saying that twice in two hours, at a bowling alley, during a birthday party, well, it's kind of two-month-old stuff, Kai. Not that I'm rushing you. I'm just, well, I'm just saying that next time we're at a bowling alley, try to drink your fill the first time, ok? Or start eating the Cheerios.

Ah, Kai. You understand everything I'm trying to say, right? You know I love you just the way you are, right?

Squawk!

Nine Months

Happy Birthday, Kai! Today you are nine months old.

The day we brought you home from the hospital I laid my face next to yours and put my lips near your lips and I breathed in your sweet breath so your sweet cells would still be mixed up with mine. Now you're here in the world, warmed up in the sun coming through the window, eating applesauce, laughing with Jett, pulling my hair, smiling at Daddy. Nine months.

You have two little teeth on the bottom, and a smile that won't quit. When you're in your highchair you like to shake your head side to side and sing, and we all respond. We all eat dinner while doing impressions of Stevie Wonder, and you laugh and laugh at what you can get us to do.

You make all kinds of happy noises, but your favorite way to talk is to stick your tongue in and out, in and out. Jett and I spend half of our day talking to you that way and we love it.

You love to be upside down. You sit on my lap and throw your head backwards, begging me to tickle your belly. Your mouth is open in a happy squeal and I kiss your chin, that cute chin. We do it over and over.

We are rarely apart, and I just can't believe how much time we get to spend together. You are in my arms most of the day. You are so snuggly, resting your head on my shoulder, belly to belly.

When you're not in my arms you're on the move, swimming like a fish all through the house. Now my pockets are always full of lint and crumbs and little dried pieces of our hardwood floor. That's just me, keeping your immediate floor space clean and safe. Jett is amazingly conscientious about picking up his crumbs so you don't choke on them. We are ok for now though, because you haven't quite mastered that pincer grasp yet. You just point your little finger out to touch, and I run over and whisk away whatever speck you've found.

We all love to put you in the bath with Jett. You both get so excited to be in there together. You splash Jett and he laughs. He zerberts your belly and you laugh. It's one big laughfest in the tub. Then I get to pick up little naked you, and pat your little smooth butt, and kiss your little chubby belly, and feel your skin on my face and my arms and my hands and it's heaven.

Here you are - nine months in and nine months out. What a milestone! Welcome to the world, Baby Kai! You made it! We love you!

Neighborhood Watch

Kai, Feb 2009

Jett, March 2007