School decision? Done.

A few weeks ago Charlie and I had to make a decision about schools. We had to decide which school to send the boys to next year. Jett was #1 on the waiting list for Kai's school and Kai had been accepted to Jett's school. This decision was agonizing. I'm so tired of thinking about it that I can hardly stand to write about it. I'm sure that my sister, my parents, and my friends can't stand to hear about it again.

Basically this is a blog post that I don't want to write and no one wants to read. Awesome! Yet here I go.

This decision was really hard because I had 10 competing thoughts in my head at all times:

1. If Jett were to get accepted to Kai's school (and we were pretty sure he would be), both boys would have a spot in that school until 8th grade.
2. Also, it's a really good school. Great test scores. Involved parents. Good at fundraising.
3. Also, it's montessori, which seems mostly good.
4. And it's all day preschool for free.
5. I think Jett would love montessori.
6. But Jett's school is good too. With pretty good test scores. A lot of involved parents. Good at fundraising. Free after school programming that Jett enjoys.
7. Jett loves his school.
8. Also, Kai is already accepted there and I like the prek teachers.
9. But it's only half day preK (but still free).
10. And Kai will have to reapply for Kindergarten and if he doesn't get accepted then the boys will be at different schools again, which is a drag.

A lot of our decision dealt with trying to figure out the value of a montessori education. Not just a montessori education in general (although that was part of it), but a montessori education at this particular school. It wasn't easy to figure out. This school believes that having parent helpers or observing in the classroom disrupts the learning process so I wasn't able to be in the classroom much to see how it all worked. That's not necessarily wrong, it's just not what I want. Having to stay out of the classroom also made it hard for me to see the benefit of montessori. Still, Kai has a great teacher and I believe that he has learned a lot this year. It's just been hard to figure out just exactly what it is that he's learned.

Meanwhile I volunteer in Jett's class every Monday morning. I know all of his classmates' names and most of their parents. I know what Jett is learning and how he is learning it and about where he falls academically compared to his classmates. It feels great to know all that stuff. I feel connected to the school and I know what is going on.

Then I had the thought that maybe the best school for me isn't necessarily the best school for my kids. We are talking about their education after all, not mine.

But then I ran into Jett's preschool teacher (from the last two years). I explained to her what I was going through and she suggested that I "find something else to worry about."  Everyone whom I've shared this decision with has said the same thing (only not quite so bluntly). So I finally just kind of decided that my kids would be successful in either school. And if that is true, then we might as well choose the school that for one reason or another just seems to be a better fit for my personality.

Left to his own devices I think Charlie would have chosen the other school. But in this case he was left to my devices, which amounted to constant obsession and research. I think he figured that all of the hours I spent learning about montessori, talking to the teachers and principals and experienced parents, volunteering in the schools, attending PTO and LSC meetings at both schools, etc., all of that was worth not arguing with (at least not too much).

So next year Kai will go to preK at Jett's school, and Jett will continue on there to 1st grade. Next December I'll apply for Kai to go to kindergarten there, and spend all winter wringing my hands in worry about his acceptance. And then, hopefully, he will get in for kindergarten and we will be set through 8th grade.

Now don't even get me started about high school.

A Weekend Away

Although I will post this after I arrive and get home (and have internet connection again), pretend this is last Friday and I am on an Amtrak train that is pulling in to Michigan City, IN. I’m staying on until Jackson, MI where a friend of mine will pick me up. Together we will drive the last 30 minutes or so together to Hillsdale College where we will spend the weekend with 220 of our sorority sisters. I expect to know about 30 of them and I can not wait to see them. It’s been almost 20 years since we’ve been together and I am super-psyched.

I am also hoping for three good hair days in a row because there will probably be a lot of picture-taking and after four years of embarrassing photos in college could I please have just one day on that campus with good hair?

Getting away for an entire weekend wasn’t easy and my plan didn’t come together until Wednesday night. Leaving Charlie with the boys for the weekend wasn’t a problem. Leaving the three of them with no car, two birthday party invitations, two soccer games, two school pick-ups, and one t-ball meeting without a car was the problem. Finally my mom suggested the Megabus and after recoiling in horror (no room to walk around, a bus bathroom!) I checked out Amtrak, emailed my sorority sisters to mooch a ride from the station and a ride home, and here I am, riding along.

To prepare for Charlie and the boys for this weekend I did the following:

1. Washed the boys bathing suits so Charlie wouldn’t have to and then remembered that they now swim on Mondays, not Sundays.  Oh well. I also left Charlie a reminder to wash the soccer socks the boys will need on Sunday. Oops.

2. Stocked the fridge and cabinets with the boys favorite foods AND pre-packaged snacks that I would normally never buy (like fruit snacks and juice boxes and Lunchables). No wonder they like it when I leave.

3. Left Charlie detailed instructions of the school pick-up procedure, including leaving the “inclement weather pick-up instructions” on the front seat of the car, pre-packing the boys’ after-school snacks in their backpacks so Charlie wouldn’t have to remember them, and stocking the car with a fresh water bottle since the kids are always thirsty after school.

4. Bought and wrapped the birthday presents.

To prepare myself for this weekend I packed (in 30 minutes) a suitcase with a broken handle and a duffle bag without a shoulder strap and, sweaty in my winter coat, schlepped them both a mile to the el stop. First good hair day is shot.  Also I forgot my camera.

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I’m back. My weekend was awesome and I would show you pictures but my friend Beth would kill me. 

My hair looked good for 20 minutes on Saturday, in my hotel room.

The boys were glad to see me when I got home, but they were happier to find the Pi Phi cookies and Hillsdale College temporary tattoos that I brought them. 

I was happy to find that this survived.

It was a great weekend with fabulous people. Now, back to the grind!

Leaving Comments is Now Easier, I Hope

I have heard that it is very difficult to leave a comment on my blog. I have done a little tinkering around (a very little, because I don't really know what I am doing) and I think it will be easier now. Give it a try. Does it work?

Good old regular day

This morning I got the boys to school on time. I volunteered in Jett's classroom by stuffing the homework folders for an hour. I worked at home without any interruptions.

After school I brought the boys home and Jett and I worked on his homework and finished it all while Kai jumped around us, batting a balloon above our heads. When homework was done Kai asked if he could do the wii, and I reminded him that wii is only for weekends. Instead of getting angry, Jett said, "We don't have to do the wii, Kai. We can do our puzzle!" "Oh yeah!" Kai exclaimed. "I forgot!" Then they worked on their puzzle until we had to leave for swimming lessons, which we arrived to only 5 minutes late.

It was a really great day until Jett's huge meltdown over the fact that we were having pasta and peas for dinner - again. He snapped out of it though and still had time to eat and bathe before bed. Thank you, boys.

Motivation

I wanted quiet children, but instead our house is full of noise. There is a lot of singing, humming, and laughing and talking. There is a lot of noise made simply for the sake of making noise. There is a lot of yelling, and a lot of it is happy. The boys yell when they win, when they lose, when they are excited, when they are doing things they aren't supposed to do, when they are doing things they are supposed to do, when they are in the bath, when they are at the dinner table, when I am in the shower, when they are playing cars, when they are laying on the couch, when they are looking for cookies. Some days it is just one big stereo set to static in here.

Sometimes I yell. Sometimes it is to be heard over the din. Other times it is because yelling is better than clobbering. Mostly it is because they do not do anything I ask them to do until I ask them to do it 30 times in a nice voice, and then scream it from the top of my lungs 4 times after that.

One day last week I had had enough. I dropped them off at school, drove to the bank and got $2 in pennies. I went home and cleaned out two plastic yogurt containers, cut up a bunch of colored paper for the boys to stick on to the containers, cut slits in the tops of the containers, and waited. When school was out I picked up the boys and directed them to their art projects.

Now the boys earn a penny every time they do something the first time I ask. They also earn a penny if they play nicely while I am in the shower, and they earn another one if they stay at the table during dinner. Tomorrow morning they will earn two if they stay in bed all night. It doesn't work every time, but it works pretty well.



I'm just glad I had the sense to start with pennies this time. Last time I used money as a motivator I promised them dollars and I ended up paying each of them nine bucks!

Wish Lists

We've visited a couple of neighborhood toy stores in the last couple of weeks. Each time we do, I decide ahead of time whether or not I am going to buy some little trinket for the boys while we are there. If I am, then I tell them the amount of money I will spend on each of them (usually $2). Usually however, I am not going to buy them anything, and that of course, involves a discussion before we walk in.

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Me: Boys, we are not buying you anything at the store today. We are here to buy a birthday present for your friend's party tomorrow and that is the only thing we are going to buy.

Boys: (Glumly) We know.

Me: I am not buying you anything at the store today. We are just here to buy the birthday present and play with the toys while we are here.

Boys: We know that already! Let's go in!

Two seconds later:

Kai: Can you buy this for me? Please? Please? Just this one time? One time, Mom. One time. Just this one. Please. Please. Please, Mom. Please.

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Last week, before I could stop myself, I told Kai that we would just put whatever he is asking for on his birthday list. I assumed that by the time his birthday rolls around he would forget about the item. But he kept asking and I kept talking and suddenly I heard myself telling him that I could take a picture of it with my phone so we would remember it.

As you might imagine, we have amassed a lot of pictures since my first offer to start snapping.






I have had to start limiting the number of pictures I will take of them, they are so eager to have their picture taken with every single cool toy they find. It has started to annoy me, and I really wasn't prepared for their eagerness to have a wish list. I am starting to wish that I had never mentioned it. On the other hand, it's kind of funny in the moment. I mean, did you see those chattering teeth?