The Newborn Bermuda Triangle. (Or) I am allowed to be sentimental once in a while.

Some good friends of mine had a baby this morning, and they live miles and miles away. In fact, as of 9:04 this morning, their distance from me increased by about 10,000 miles. Because when someone you love has a baby, you just want to be there. I want to hug my friends, hold the baby, and then cook a bunch of dinners and put them in their freezer.

If you've had a baby, you want to be there because you know what it feels like. You're in that hospital room and nurses are walking by outside the door, traffic is moving on the street below, someone is calling your cell phone for the 2nd time, and it doesn't matter. Without trying you've become a master of meditation. All the unessentials float right on past without interrupting your state of mind. They disappear. All of your attention is in your arms, or in the crib next to you, or with the most important person in the world who is sitting next to you, holding a part of you.

You sit in the bed and hold the baby while he sleeps. He sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and you miss his eyes because you've only seen them twice since he was born 4 hours ago. Then he stirs and maybe he cries and you hold him this way or that way and it comforts him and you're amazed. A little while later he cries again and you hold him this way or that and he quiets again and you are still amazed. He cries a third time and again you hold him this way or that but he keeps crying and keeps crying and this time it takes you 10 full minutes to comfort him. The heavy burden of parenthood drapes itself around your shoulders. You feel unqualified.

Your baby cried for 10 minutes, but then he stopped. He stopped crying and looked at you and you looked back while the world waited. He is quiet now, and gazing at you. You introduce yourself and tell your baby your first name. You still feel more like his guide than his mother. You bring him to your cheek and you feel cautiously, hesitantly, powerful.

Your baby is still gazing at you. His expression is so serious that he looks like he is putting a curse upon your house. It freaks you out a little because it really looks like he is sending you a message with his eyes. You laugh out loud to break the spell and the nurse brings your lunch and your cell phone rings again and you turn on the TV and you remember that other people's days are half over by now.

You've been awake for 22 hours and for the first time in a long time it doesn't matter what time it is. You have no where to go except two steps over to the crib. You have nothing to do but sit in bed and hold the baby. You sleep when you're tired and turn the lights on when you're awake and the only reason you look at the clock is to check to see how long ago the baby ate. You didn't expect the hospital to be so comfortable but you think you might stay for as long as you possibly can. You think that this is the easiest it is ever going to be and you are right.

The baby is sleeping so you do too. When you wake up two hours later you panic, not knowing what you've missed. But there is your husband, holding the baby. He looks at you and laughs out loud. The baby is putting a curse on me, he says. The new day begins.

It's Fall

and we've been doing Fall things.

lining up dominoes in the shape of a ghost - he did this himself!

oh yes, Kai has a costume too.

Sweet Daze

I caught Kai watching Sesame Street the other day. This is the expression he wears every time Elmo's World comes on. I think he's in love with that little red monster.

Shopping and a Question

Do you remember a few months ago when I did that giveaway to CSN stores? (CSN stores is a collection of online stores that sell a wide variety of products, like dining sets, pet supplies, and shoes.) They've contacted me again and asked if I'd like to review an item for them. I thought about it for a while and decided that, yes, I would like to review an item for them. This was heavily influenced by the fact that they are sending me a $40 gift certificate to put towards the purchase of any item I choose to review. I'm still deciding, but I've narrowed my choices down to two things: dishes or sheets. Exciting, right?

These are the dishes we registered for when we got married. We have an odd collection of them - something like 6 bowls, 4 mugs, 6 small plates, and 4 big plates. It would be nice to add an item or two to our collection. I was pretty surprised to see that CSN stores carries them., because they've been hard to find.

I could also go with some blue bed sheets. We have a blue comforter and blue and green curtains and...red bed sheets left over from a very poor decorating decision. It looks kind of ridiculous, but we're on a budget over here, and new sheets haven't been a priority. But if you are offering me free sheets, they might rise to the top of the list.

This got me thinking of other things we need to buy - like a bed for Kai. At 2 1/2 I think he's starting to mentally outgrow his crib. Yesterday he tried to take a nap in Jett's bed, for example. It must be frustrating for him - every morning Jett wakes up, gets dressed, and comes in to our room. A few minutes later Kai starts calling to us to get him out of his crib. When they have trouble falling asleep at night, Jett gets up and comes and talks to us. Kai is left to call to us from his crib. Kai does so many more things than Jett did at his age - Kai tags along at preschool and he plays with the four and five-year-olds on the playground, but once he's in that crib, he's back to babyhood. (Which, by the way, is fine with me. I like to have at least one of them contained at all times). In addition to this, Jett wants bunk beds. I personally am not ready for bunk beds, because I'm afraid of Jett falling down the ladder when he wakes up in the middle of the night. But I've been doing some research and I've found something called loft beds. I'm sure they're not new, maybe you all have known about them your whole life. But I just figured out what they were, which is essentially a bed on stilts - that is not as high as a bunk bed. The loft beds don't come with a lower bunk, but couldn't I put a mattress for Kai on the ground underneath the loft bed? Then Jett wouldn't be so high off the ground but it would still be fun for him, and we'd save floor space, like you do with bunk beds. Or is there a reason someone shouldn't sleep underneath a loft bed? Do you know? Seriously. If you know anything about this, please leave me a comment. I need your help.

Now, finally, after you've slogged your way through this most exciting post, here is a picture for your viewing pleasure. The boys can be very snuggly at bedtime.

Pledging Allegiance

First off, I feel compelled to say that if I had a flag of Chile we'd be waving that tonight. Just amazing.

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Last week at preschool Jett had the honor of holding the flag while the class performed their daily ritual of saying the Pledge of Allegiance. He was so excited about this responsibility that Kai and I stayed to watch. Here is our proud little patriot.

Trucks

One of my boys' favorite activities is playing in the car, which is a shame, because I hardly ever let them do it. I used to let Jett do it all of the time, but I'm a million times busier these days and am not content to sit on the sidewalk while the kids bang around in there, leaving footprints all over the seats and handprints all over the windows. So when our friends in the 'burbs invited us to join them at their neighborhood "Touch a Truck" event, we hurried right over.

Cue the lights, cue the music, the heavens just opened up, right over a mall parking lot.

The mall parking lot was full of more trucks than I have ever seen at one time in my entire life. Fire trucks, dump trucks, tow trucks, ambulances, snow plows, garbage trucks, trucks I don't even know the name of, and even a helicopter. Doors were flung open and the kids were all over the trucks, climbing in and out, sitting in the seats, flipping the switches, honking the horns, honking the horns, honking the horns.....

The horns were a problem. It was so noisy that Jett kept his hands over his ears, and would not take them off even to climb in or out of a truck. Those trucks are so big. BIG, people. I had no idea how big they were. A street cleaning truck doesn't look that huge from my third-story window. Climbing into every truck required climbing up at least two steps, and those steps felt taller than my shoulder.

Anyway, we clearly needed a solution for Jett, which was to stick a wad of tissue into each of his hears. Finally he was "hands-free" ad we could get down to the business of climbing. He started to relax. He started to get in to it. So much so that he stood quiet and still in a crowd of people under the blazing sun for 10 minutes - without even asking for a snack - waiting for the firemen to start their demonstration of how they rescue someone from an overturned car.

(Did I mention that Jett wants to be a fireman when he grows up? But not just a regular fireman. He wants to be a fat fireman. Go figure).

But as much fun as Jett had at this event, I think Kai really got the most out of it. He just looked so fantastically satisfied at it all. He spent 10 minutes in one truck without any other kids asking to come in, and he was completely content. At the end of the day he and Jett were both flithy- from the pavement and the sweat and the dirt on those huge tires that they had to keep running their hands over. Their little legs were indented with grids from the steps they climbed up and down - a foot on the first step, a shin on the other, careful, careful. They were in heaven....in heaven in trucks at the mall.

Our personal playground

The other day the boys and I took some balls to the school yard across the street and spent an hour running after them. The balls were all at least as big as my fist, and some were bigger. Nevertheless, Kai thought one had slipped through the grates, and he spent an unreasonable amount of time peering down into the darkness, trying to find it.



We've been playing in the school yard since Jett could walk, and I've written about it a few times (here, here, and here, for example). I don't think I've mentioned the various safety hazards we have to watch out for, like an enticing but probably bug-and-litter ridden sand pit and raised rectangles of grass surrounded by brick walls that would be perfect to fall from. There is also a big wooden deck, serving no obvious purpose, that is full of jagged holes and rotting boards. The deck would be perfect to play on if it was safe, because it is right next to the giant grates that the boys like to throw rocks through, but we've always had to keep them off of it until now....



...because now it is all gone! Excellent! Getting rid of that wooden platform gives me one less thing to say "No" too. Thank you, CPS.

On a side note, the other day Charlie, the boys, and I were reading a book about animals that live in your backyard. I mentioned that we don't have a backyard, and Jett piped up, "No, but we have a school!" Right on, kiddo. Right on.